The most common times for anyone to be faced with the questions about identity are at milestone points of their lives. The teenage years. Moving from school to university. Adulting. Becoming a spouse. Or a parent. Facing an empty nest.
Throughout our lives, we have to reconcile who we believe we are with the world around us. We are social beings, so the need for acceptance within the community we identify with or find ourselves in is important.
As a teenager, I often felt like an outsider. I found comfort in musicians like P!nk, also known as Alecia Hart, the pop-rock singer-songwriter who stood for the underdog with songs like "Raise Your Glass" and one of my personal favorites "Perfect".
By embracing and celebrating quirky uniqueness she gave me the confidence to do the same. I wanted to have the boldness of living in this world as myself, embracing being different from those around me, loving punk even though I had the “wrong” color skin. Obstacles to acceptance became identity markers.
The desire to fit in was overwhelming. So much so that I was willing to compromise who I am.
Sadly, however, the desire to fit in was still overwhelming. So much so that I was willing to compromise who I am. And, honestly, that isn’t too hard when you don’t know who you are. Such compromise can continue long into adult life, environment and community.
As a Christian, my identity is in Christ. But for me to solidly stand on this identity, two questions must be answered: (a) what does it actually mean to have my identity in Christ; and (b) given that I live in this world, how do I retain who I am as a Christian in the face of the unending demand that my identity be defined by its ever-changing terms?
Our identity in Christ
First, I am a child of the living God. He adopted me into his family because I believe in Jesus, my Lord and Savior. I am called according to his purpose; not my own or the world’s. I stand undeservingly forgiven of my sins through the power of Christ’s blood, as a new creation.
I live by faith so the world can’t tell me how to live.
The Bible describes me as known (John 10:14); chosen (Ephesians 1:4); and loved by God (1 John 3:1); among many other things. Therefore, my job is to love, obey and praise him. Christ lives within me (Galatians 2:20), therefore I live by faith so the world can’t tell me how to live, only Christ holds the throne over my life.
This and so much more is true for all Christians. In the pages of God’s word, we discover who we are; through his eyes and in his grace, that’s where you’ll find the truth about who you truly are. And when we see the world continue to live in ignorance of the truth about Christ and who we are in him, we’re faced with the awful reality of who we would be without Christ showing us our identity.
Now that we know this and have God’s never-changing definition of our identity. How do we live in this world, when we are clearly not of it (John 17:11,16)?
How the world influences identity
We could run to the church and build our lives solely around that community. But the reality is that we can’t completely separate ourselves from the world. Furthermore, God hasn’t called us to do that (John 17:15).
Our faith is always on a collision course with the longing for acceptance.
The church community is there to hold us accountable and help us along the journey to becoming more like Christ. But it can’t shield us from the world’s influences. The church is always a community within a larger community. There’s no getting away or out of it. In fact, desiring a positive relationship with those outside of the church is a very Christian instinct. However, our faith is always on a collision course with the longing for acceptance.
We might tell ourselves we don’t want to offend; or that it’s only a small matter, a white lie. But there will always be pressure to conform (Romans 12:1-2). Furthermore, the church itself is made up by all sorts of people with differing convictions. Some of them don’t hold onto a Christian identity at all. Therefore, there’s pressure on many sides to soft-pedal our Christian identity.
If we’re honest, conforming to the world is easier than standing apart from it, and it’s also usually more personally profitable. How else do we explain pastors compromising on God’s truth when threatened with rejection? Likewise, what is really behind the trend of Westerners deconstructing the faith?
So what should we do? How do we live in this world without it affecting who we are in Christ?
Christian, embrace your calling
I propose we take a page from Gen Z. Born from the mid-90s through to ama2000, they are digital natives. More than this, however, they’ve also embraced ideas like critical theory, expressive individualism, and the relativity of truth.
Among them seems to be an enhanced desire to resist the status quo. Being different is the new “lit” thing. I’ve seen the intense growth of these new identity concepts and how ruthlessly and unrelentingly people subscribe to them.
This should be us. Unapologetically Christian and unafraid to stand out.
This should be us. Unapologetically Christian and unafraid to stand out. It should be us, ruthlessly and unrelentingly proclaiming who we are in Christ and living it daily. But we aren’t.
Instead, it is those that stand against the Christian identity that are unapologetically themselves. Identity, belonging and knowing are profound matters. When the church meets the world it should find a people who are certain, full of conviction; those who are unafraid to be whom God has called them to be, believing what he’s revealed to be true.
Therefore, I recommend proceeding as foreigners in a temporary land. This is not your home. Embrace the differences. Finding joy in being set apart from the world has to be a Christian norm. So let the world see in how we live that though we inhabit this world we belong to another.
Sober up and understand the depth of this journey with Christ. Take up your cross. Accept the cost of belonging to Christ. God knows us and he satisfies our need for community through the church. I am certain that this relentless, fearless expression of our identity in Christ will bring more people to the knowledge of the one, true God. Let our faith affect the world instead of the reverse.
Stand firm
Start by considering who you would be without Jesus.
This isn’t the time to be scared or overly sensitive to the truth. So, start by considering who you would be without Jesus; and what it means to be in Christ. The contrast should be a good reminder of the importance of remaining in Christ. It takes one little lie, one little compromise to change someone’s direction for the worse.
Consider who you would be without Jesus; and what it means to be in Christ.
My prayer for us is that God would strengthen our resolve in the face of temptation, helping us to know him more, believing what he says about us and drawing us closer to himself. So that who we are in him wouldn’t be shaken, ever.
Originally published by TGC Africa. Republished with permission.
Pamela Nyide is a stay-at-home mom in Johannesburg, South Africa. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and English, and occasionally does freelance research work, transcription, and translations. She enjoys crafting, DIY projects and has a particular fondness for painting. Pamela is married to Zithulele Nyide and they have two daughters, Liyana and Lwandle. She desires to encourage others in their walk with Christ by sharing lessons she learns in her own journey of faith in Christ Jesus.
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